The Wedding part 3 Single girl in hell.

Took a long time to finish this story. Sorry. Got distracted.

So, Wedding day....not much sleep, no breakfast.....off to the salon. Jayme told us not to wash our hair, so I felt kind of grimy all day. Too much product! Went from salon to the Union where everything was going to be held. Pictures before were uneventful. The ushers were really bad at their jobs moving people out onto the terrace for the ceremony, so we started late. I went and herded folks out the door....my voice carrys :) Ceremony was short and sweet. Groom jumped the gun on the "I Do!" which was cute. We taunted him all day about that.

Bride's mother decided she wanted to set me up.....with Sid, the bride's brother.....who weighs about 400lbs and I hear his house looks like a junkyard. She pointed me out to him and he went off to get me a Diet Coke. Nice? Yes. Date him? No! So I politely excused myself with some stupid excuse and went off to find some of my friends to be a buffer. Luckily, one of the many couples there brought an acceptable "date" for me! Yippee! I hadn't seen them in a while and was happy when they said "Wow! You look amazing!!" (Although part of me was thinking, "what? Every other time you've seen me I looked like poop?") So as I was explaining to Keith (the only non repulsive single man in the room) why he was my "date", another large man walked past. He says "Is that her brother?" Unfortunately I had to respond "No, that's my brother."

Anyway.....by this point it's about 2:30pm and I'm starving! The best man, Marty, and I decided to just go sit down and hope the bride and groom would follow since everyone else was already snacking on appetizers and salad. My brother had been force feeding me crackers for about 10 minutes already so I wouldn't pass out. Dinner was good....stuffed shells and roasted vegetables for me. First real diet cheat in weeks! And cake! Chocolate with raspberry filling.

The we get to the toasts. Marty started out funny but ended sappy and crying. I knew the groom's brother was going to say something really emotional, so I quickly decided to wing it and be the comic relief. I explained that I had known Tom, the groom, for many years. That he was always available to move heavy objects and enter radio contests for you. And that the entire time I'd known him, there was only one thing he didn't have.......a date! So I went out and found him one. Everyone agreed that I'd made the right choice. Then I told the story of their first date without me. I had given him my tickets to Mellencamp at Summerfest so he could do something nice. He picked her up, all went well, he called ma a couple of times, then he drove her home. He got out of the car, but didn't walk her to her door. Instead, he shook her hand and said "Thank you." Boy was she confused! Next day, I made him call her. She asked to talk to me, told me about the bizarre hand shake and I smacked him! Told her I'd take care of it. Next date....no handshake! 2 years later.....married! Needless to say, people enjoyed it. Several asked if I was a professional stand up!

So, after dinner, another series of pictures. All I wanted to do was take my shoes off! But no such luck. This is, of course, when I looked over and noticed the groom's other brother had pulled out his laptop and was watching MST2K clips(see previous photo)! Then the dance started. The newlyweds asked for everyone to join them. Keith nicely asked me to dance so I could avoid Sid. Much appreciated!

The music got progressively worse and very few people were dancing. My feet were happy just to sit. Got to talk for a long time with an old friend I rarely see anymore. Reminiscing......Trying to figure out what happened to the rest of the old gang. Then his wife, Keith and I had a chat about the addictive nature of VH1.

People started to leave around 7:00pm (the whole thing started at 12:30, so this was reasonable). At 7:30, I asked if I could leave......so tired! Took about half an hour to get out. Had to say good-bye to everyone. Mother of the bride tried one more time to convince me Sid was a catch. Arghh!!!!

All in all....a good day. But I am glad it's over :)

The Wedding part 2... Preparations

Well, the wedding is over and the couple is off the New Orleans! So I have my life back. What am I doing with it? Writing about the wedding :)

It all started Friday with the manicure. I was trying so hard not to chip a nail. Got through the whole day accident free and was thrilled! Then on Saturday, I went to visit the neighbors and their darn dog jumped on me. Huge scratches down my legs. Ouch! Not to mention hideous scarring.....but nails still fine.

So I head to the rehearsal dinner. All seems to be going well. No major tragedies, but the night is young. An old friend I haven't seen or talked to in years came into town from Florida. It's been a while and we've both made major changes so we just stood staring at each other for like ten minutes both thinking "don't I know you?" And no one helped! Finally figured it out! Nicole! It was great to talk to her. She has really gotten her life together. It's good to see. And we're going to keep in touch this time.....darn it!

Then the Bride's oldest friend shows up with her fiance......the republican. Here's where things take a turn, and it wasn't his fault. Julie, the friend, tells us that last year her fiance drove one of the cars in the President's motorcade when he came to Osh Kosh. From across the room, Dan, the geek in the photo, yells "What a complete f-ing asshole!!!!" Dead silence followed. Wow! There's rude and then there's RUDE!!

So we lightened the mood by torturing the bride with plans to skip down the aisle, do Oompa Loompa impressions and other goof stuff. Then I rushed home to right a toast. Spent two hours working on it. Threw it away. Couldn't sleep. Stressing about toast.....

The Wedding part 1 Pictures!

Hey Gang! Wedding went well. Here's a few pics for you.

This is me, the bride, my sister-in-law and another friend......


Here's the Bride and Groom. Sweet, huh?


And this.......is a man who will never have sex! The Groom's brother.

House Clean, Guest MIA

Some of you may remember that I spent all day yesterday cleaning my house because my boss was stopping in from Tucson. Well.....should have seen it coming. He stayed around after the Conference to schmooze. Not that I blame him. Networking is important for us. But the upshot of it all is that he's not going to make it over to the house now. Instead, I'm just meeting him at the airport for coffee. I suppose I should enjoy the clean house. But it seems so pointless now. All clean and no one to be impressed.

Can you all be impressed for me?

They are buying us with liquor!!!!!

Buying Drinks for Girls


Teenage girls were more likely to get alcohol than boys of the same age, according to a new survey from the American Medical Association.

Bloomberg News reported Aug. 8 that half of American girls ages 13-18 said they had obtained alcoholic drinks "one way or another" -- including from family members, strangers, peers, or boyfriends. By comparison, 45 percent of 13- to 18-year-old boys said they had obtained alcohol by some means.

"I don't think the average parent thinks this is a girl issue,'' said AMA President J. Edward Hill, who said that girls getting alcohol from older boyfriends could help explain the disparity between the sexes.

An accompanying online poll found that 72 percent of adults agreed that supplying alcohol to minors is illegal and that laws against underage drinking should be enforced. But 31 percent said teens should be able to drink at home.

Adults were the most common source of alcohol for teens of both sexes, the AMA said.

The online poll, conducted by Harris Interactive, involved 2,283 adults. Teenage Research Unlimited conducted the survey, which included 701 boys and girls.

New Heights of Geekdom

My best friend called this morning with an amazing offer. Her job is sending her to Vegas in January for a conference and she asked me to go with. I live in Wisconsin, so this is a very tempting offer. Vegas, January.......ooooooo......

Anyway, she said I didn't have to go to the conference. I could just sit by the pool all day. Good book, sunshine, hottie little cabana boys bringing me slushy drinks. Heaven.

But I chose the conference. It's a consumer electronics conference!!!!!! All the pretty toys!! Rather than bask in the sun, I'm choosing to go seminars on PDAs, cell phones, pocket computers.....I'm salivating already!

I'm such a dork!

Party Pics

That's the Bride.....


And our special guest....


And our fabulous dancing!

The Phone Number Challenge

The folks over at Shawn's blog seem to focus a lot on the phone number challenge. I'd like to discuss this further. See, I don't understand the trauma involved here. Personally, I am quite the introvert myself. I know you are all laughing at that, but it's true. However, that challenge would have been a piece of cake for me! These are people you don't know who you will most likely never see again. So what you say or do really doesn't matter.

I find it hard to approach people when I am invested in some way. New coworkers, guys I actually like, people like that. It's those situations that cause me to shut down and just observe until I decide how to proceed, which I often never do.

Now I will give my opinions on Anheauser Busch, the war in Iraq, sales tax vs. property tax and whether or not a particular outfit works. But as for anything personal, well, not a chance. That's where my wall is.

Anyone else feel this way?

Two weeks early

I am so excited because my neighbor just had her baby. Two weeks early :) She told me a couple days ago that she was sure she'd be late, but wanted nothing more than to "get it out!!!" Don't blame her a bit.

It's girl, seven and a half pounds. Sounds like labor wasn't too bad. But they've been up all night, so I'm going to wait till tomorrow to visit.

In the meantime, I am dogwalker extraordinaire! No problem.

Congratulations Chris and Chuck!

Weird dreams

They say dreams are just made up of what we have on our minds. I think they are right. Because I've been having some strange ones lately.....

How about you?